Funky barn wiiu cover1/22/2024 ![]() ![]() ![]() I couldn’t tell by looking at all the animals attacking each other. You finally activate the tutorial that’s been blinking for the last 10 minutes only to be told “Hey! Looks like your animals are unhappy!” Thanks, farmer tutorial. “Right,” you think to yourself, “because I’m totally going to pave freakin’ ROADS in my chicken coop.” And while you’ve been trying to figure out why this robot doesn’t work the way you’d think it would? The coop is overflowing with eggs, the sheep are angry they haven’t been sheared yet, and all the animals are starting to hate you because they’ve consumed all their food and water. You buy one, unpack it, and find an error message above the robot that amounts to the fact that it can only run on roads. You find out that you can buy machines that will pick up produce and whatnot for you. “This is getting difficult” you say to yourself. Okay, now you’ve got to keep track of when the chickens lay eggs and when the sheep are ready to be sheared. You’ll soon find out the chickens are apparently afraid of sheep, so you need to build fences to separate them. The process is easy when you’ve only got a few chickens, but you’ll soon progress and earn a few sheep. This means collecting the fruits of your labor for profit in order to improve your farm further. While this is all happening you’re getting long-winded tutorials from hillbilly farmer stereotype on the GamePad screen, telling you that your ultimate goal is to build a farm that can sustain itself. A stork flies by while you’re inspecting your newfound property (presumably while you’re trying to figure out how to build a mini-mall on it,) and drops off a lone chicken. The game begins and you’re thrust a farm that you’ve inherited from some obscure relative. No longer with the release of Funky Barn, a game that is definitely not funky.įunky Barn is a farming simulator, which I hear is all the rage these days due to some little game called FarmVille. Games that have been developed with seemingly no pride in the finishing of the work are clearly missing. Motion controls, Miis and the classic Nintendo adorable vibe are all here. In-game, there’s a sub-Wii level of detail.The Wii U carries the tradition of many things its predecessor had. Instructions and tips are text-only, and even the font looks budget. This game’s clearly been put together on a tiny budget, and there is absolutely no visual flair here at all. The animals are cute, but extremely simplistic – the chicks are blobs with eyes. The loading screen is a blinking cow drawing. ![]() The game’s opening sequence is a series of slightly wonky, still cartoon images apparently drawn in ten minutes by somebody who can’t quite get hands right. ![]() You can give your animals a wee stroke with the Gamepad to increase their happiness, which is sadly pretty pointless – happy animals make more produce, but you’ll never be bothered to take the time to furiously scrub at all your animals with the stylus once you’ve got more than about four of them. Every fifteen minutes or so you can order a new animal, ranging from cows, sheep and chickens in the early stages of the game to llamas and buffalo later on, delivered by a charming stork. Between collecting produce, building things here’s always just enough going on that your mind doesn’t get the chance to think that maybe you’d be better off doing something else. It gets that Farmville compulsion loop exactly right. As your farm starts to run itself more effectively, you’ve got more time to expand and build more stuff. It’s these machines – a gigantic egg robot that collects eggs for you, a shearer that plucks sheep from the field with its gloved, mechanical hand and relieves them of their wool – that give Funky Barn personality, making it more likeable than the bare-bones presentation initially indicates. Funky Barn puts you in charge of a run-down farm and tasks you with building it up to verdant productivity again, populating the paddocks with cute animals and building various barmy contraptions to make your farming life easier. ![]()
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